It is so common now for a child to have both a stepmother and a stepfather, along with a mother and father, that it seems ridiculous that a step-parent has no official role, or specific legal obligations--other than to refrain from harming the child. Many children live with one parent and a stepparent, and visit the other parent and stepparent on weekends. Most people are familiar with tales of how much conflict can be involved in these relationships, even if they are not stepparents themselves. It seems fair to state that I am not a stepparent, and my only child never had a stepparent.
Suggestion--we need a new set of laws. When a divorced person with a child or children decides to remarry, both of the parents would have to appear in court, along with the fiance or intended spouse. The custodial and care arrangements would be signed by all three parties. If the other parent also decides to marry again, all four would have to go to court again, and each would sign a new set of custodial and care arrangements. These formal legal documents could be used to work out much of the conflict that troubles complex families--conflict that often spills over into schools, extended families, and courts. Children deserve better than "my mom and the guy she married"--legally.
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